Neighbouring ain't what it used to be

I sometimes feel I'm a bit of a lone voice in calling for an understanding of neighbouring that takes account of social change. Neighbouring ain't what it used to be, and that's only to be expected; most other things ain't, either.

Now here's Chris, who's thought about it a bit, commenting on this blog post about the Vermont network Front Porch Forum. Chris notes wisely that 'being neighborly' has been redefined:

'Many people today, in cities at least, just don’t feel the need to know and interact with people regularly simply because they live next to them. We’ve silently succumbed to the realization that we want better reasons to invest time in strangers...

'I may not know my next door neighbor but do I really need to just because he lives next door? What if we have no interests in common? Don’t worry, I’ll still call the fire department if his house catches fire and I’ll still watch for suspicious people in his yard (in addition to mine), but I just don’t care about his obsessive gardening because I don’t care at all about gardening myself.'

With the advent of the internet and global real-time communications, Chris notes, 'most people in the modern world have simply recognized subconsciously that making friends in person one neighbor at a time is just damned inefficient.'

Comments

[Michael Wood-Lewis]

Hi Kevin. I saw Chris' comment today. My personal experience in my own neighborhood and as an online community manager at Front Porch Forum point in a different direction. That is, (1) life can be enriched by diversity... talking occasionally with the next-door gardening buff vs. spending all your time with your clone friends across town likely brings benefits. And, (2) connecting with your actual neighbors can re-define how you feel about where you live... can heighten your sense of ownership and lead you to get more involved in your local community. And democracy depends on that kind of thing.

But don't take my word for it... here's an FPF member's recent story as told by Mel Allen, long-time editor of Yankee Magazine (http://frontporchforum.com/blog/2010/07/07/most-people-want-to-be-neighborly/)...

"In my neighborhood," she wrote, "Front Porch Forum enabled us to rally around a young mother who was dying. Because of her illness, she and her husband hadn't gotten to know many people. With Front Porch Forum, however, we were able to arrange for someone to prepare dinner for this family and deliver it every night for two months before she died, and for several weeks after the funeral. Through Front Porch Forum the family also received a steady stream of cards and notes, and practical help with dog walking, errands, and driving the kids to after-school activities.

"What struck me most," the writer continued, "was the number of neighbors who expressed appreciation that Front Porch Forum had enabled them to participate in helping this family at a time of profound need. Most people want to be neighborly, but we no longer have the local institutions and the time to do it the way we used to. FPF is a modern community-building tool that has admirably filled the need in the fortunate neighborhoods that have access to it. Many thanks for running the story."

FPF has seen thousands of such stories... all coming from nearby neighbors connecting over lost cats, plumber recommendations and car break-ins... and building from there... http://frontporchforum.com/testimonials/